A Moment in Time
by sorakazuma
Summary: During the trip to Edo. Lavi and Lenalee are mourning the loss of a fellow exorcist and Lavi finds comfort in an unsuspecting place.


A Moment in Time

D. Gray-Man

Lavi x Miranda

_A request made by a friend for her birthday. I really like this pairing- it grew on me while I was writing!_

There were few things on the planet that Lavi found comfort in. With war being part of his everyday life, death and decay had him in a chokehold that made it painful to smile. His job was simple; to observe and report. He had been raised to take in the whole world down to the most microscopic detail, to expose the truth, no matter how sickeningly deprave it might be.

Most people would crack under the horrors he kept locked in his photographic mind, would have lost themselves in the flood of sheer torment his soul was forced to endure. Surely they wouldn't expect to see him smile, and yet, every chance he got he had that goofy expression plastered on his face. He kept his broad shoulders out, and walked with confidence. He knew the archive in his brain made him a moving target every day of his life, and yet he couldn't help but be grateful for every breath that he took, for every bite of food he got to eat. Most days, just being alive was a miracle in itself.

Lavi however, was eighteen, and like most eighteen-year-old boys, girls were on the back burner of his mind, 24/7. No matter how disciplined he tried to be, the sight of a pretty girl possessed him and he turned into a slobbering blushing moron who couldn't keep his mouth shut. Most of the time he got outwardly rejected and the last thing he saw was the backside of his potential date as she stalked away from him. It stung, but he could take a hit like that.

What he couldn't stand was the one girl who had always been there beside him and yet seemed oblivious to his feelings.

Lenalee Lee.

She stood next to him that morning as they waited out on the docks, the sea breeze playing with her long dark hair. She was small and petite, with big violet-blue eyes that should have been illegal and a smile that was brighter then the sun. They had been friends for years, and Lavi had always made passes on her when he was sure he could get away with them, but she had always giggled and ignored his advances as if it were all a game.

He stared across the expanse at her, taking her in. He loved that smile of hers with a passion, but he didn't think he was ever going to see it again. The Lenalee standing in front of him was broken, like a discarded doll. He could tell that her heart was no long here. It was scattered on the floor of the bamboo thicket, amongst the blood-soaked grass.

The only thing he wanted to do in that moment was hold her, and his fists clenched tight. If he knew it would help, he would comfort her now, but he knew that it wasn't his arms she wanted wrapped around her. No one could replace Allen, and that was becoming more and more painfully clear.

He almost didn't hear Won speak as he told them that Allen was in fact gone. He could see the despair register on Lenalee's face as she refused to accept the truth they were given. Lavi gritted his teeth. Allen was his friend too, but they had to keep going… falling back now was only going to sully his memory.

"We'd like to continue on but our ship…" Anita pursed her lips, her beautiful face set in nervous frown. "It took heavy damage during the battle last night. We can't continue on like this. It's going to take some time for repairs."

Won smiled, though it was nearly lost in all of his stark white facial hair. "Don't worry. The Order sent a new exorcist to help you."

Lavi never missed a beat. He was looking away from the older order supporter, his one emerald eye pulled toward the faint click of boots he heard on the wooden deck of the nearby ship, and widened when he saw the figure slowly descend down the planks.

He recognized her immediately; all it took was a glance and their image was burned into his memory. But this woman… was she really the same woman that he had been introduced to when Allen and Lenalee had brought her back to order? Back then she had been a strung out nervous wreck, with dull brown hair pulled back tight against her head, in a blouse and a skirt that was way too modest, with dark circles under her eyes and sunken-in cheeks…she looked the definition of disaster, and from her background he had made a correct assumption.

The girl standing in front of him now was far from the exorcist he had first been introduced to. Her hair was wavy, a dark chocolate brown that fell in shaggy curls around her face and neck. Her face looked youthful, with gorgeous dark eyes like endless pools against her pale skin. She had naturally long lashes of jet black and the dark circles underneath her eyes had faded but still somehow seemed to shadow and accentuate her strangely ethereal beauty. Gone was the baggy, overly-large maid's attire, replaced with a supple suit of black leather that hugged the curves of her body, showing off her natural assets as she moved. Her eyes looked unsure, but her posture and walk were confident.

She started down the walk, and Lavi had to will his mouth to stay shut. Where Lenalee was two-years-younger than him, a girl still growing into her body, Miranda was all woman and then some. She was tall and leggy where her fellow female exorcist was small and slender, with larger curves that were playing naughty games underneath the thin layer of skin-tight fabric. Lavi felt himself swallow around the dry spot knotting in his throat. He heard Won call to her, say her name. She smiled back and the poor boy's heart jumped in his chest.

Oh. Miranda.

"Miranda Lotto." He was surprised with how neutral he could make his voice sound, when his poor heart was doing all it could to jump into the space between his vocal cords.

She heard him speak her name, those dark eyes pinning on him as she approached. The breeze whipped her hair into her face and she shoved a gloved hand through it in an attempt to keep it out of her eyes. For a moment, their gaze locked and they stared at once another as if it was the first time they had seen each other.

Which was unfortunate for Miranda, because she was still walking down the plank to the dock. Her boot tripped over one of the groves in the wood and the spell was broken as she tumbled forward, front flipping down in front of them with a massive thunk that nearly made her drop her suitcase.

Silence rang out over the dock as everyone just stared and Lavi suppressed a grin. The outside might be new, but that was the girl he had met on the inside, for sure.

She picked herself up, running her fingers through her hair and gave a nervous laugh. "Ah… s-sorry!" She peeped out, trying to salvage her reputation from that mess up. Her large doe eyes looked back at the dilapidated ship, before turning to the exorcists. "Stay back everyone! I'll do what I can!"

'What she could' turned out to be the most ludicrous type of magic trick he'd ever seen. She steadied herself, seemed to gather her wits, and then put her hands on the disc on her right arm, pulling it down so that it sat on her wrist like some sort of strange buckler. "Innocence, activate!" She yelled, and the ship was instantly immersed in a golden light so bright that Lavi had to close his one good eye from the glare. When his emerald gaze batted open again, the destroyed nearly-sinking ship had been replaced with one that looked utterly brand-new. It was so perfect that he swore he could smell the paint on the hull drying.

This time he couldn't help himself. His jaw went slack, and as he glanced around, he could see he wasn't the only one. All of the exorcists were impressed, as were Anita and her crew.

But the looks they were giving seemed to intimidate and startle Miranda. She let out a deep breath and looked back for words of encouragement, and seeing the groups shocked expression, started to regress into her old tendencies; she suffered from anxiety attacks. Staring at them she trembled, waiting for someone to speak, but the longer the silence went on, the more her brain jumped to outlandish conclusions.

"I'm sorry! I'm so sorry!" She exclaimed, bowing furiously before she turned, and prepared to run. Her brain processed that there was only water around them on all sides, so she did the only insanely reasonable thing- and dove into the ocean.

Lavi was at a loss for words for a second and then he came back too. "What the hell are you doing?!" He demanded at the woman floundering in the water ten feet away from the boat.

"I'm so sorry! Leave me alone!" She screamed back at them, trying her best to swim away, but only managing to slowly go under.

The redhead was startled by her words. Why the hell would they leave her alone? Before he could start to process that, a boot came down hard on his toes and he yelped, only to find Bookman staring up at him.

"Go get her Lavi." He barked. "Before we lose another exorcist."

Lavi saw Lenalee flinch at that but the redhead was already unclasping his boots. He shrugged off his jacket and pulled his t-shirt over his head. He yanked his headband down so that it snugged around his throat and then dashed off the end of the pier, bending in a graceful arc as he dove in the water after her.

Miranda was sinking fast, her legs still struggling to kick as she fought to get back to the surface, but all her hopeless flailing was causing her to lose her breath quicker. Lavi was tall and lanky and a natural in the water; he could cover ground quickly and he was able to get an arm around her before he was out of air.

They broke the surface and he found that she had clung to him, her arms wrapped tightly around his neck and her head resting on his shoulder. "Don't dive into the damn ocean, if you don't know how to swim, idiot!" He snapped at her, listening to her cough and sputter.

"I-I'm sorry…. "She whimpered out, burying her face up against his neck as if she were simply ashamed to be alive.

Lavi treaded water, giving her a moment to catch her breath. Every second that passed though, he became more and more aware of her body on his. He could feel the swell of her breasts through the thin leather, rubbing up against his bare chest as she panted, the curves of her hip as he held her around the waist, the way her slender legs kept bumping into his as she tried to get down the way to copy his movements. Even her breath was warm against his ear, making him shiver. He could feel his face flaring with heat just from being there, and knew what the next reaction was going to be if he had to endure any more of this.

"Come on," He told her, loosening his grip to grab her by the wrist. "Let's get back to the others. It's cold out here, and they're waiting for us." He explained, moving forward through the water and pulling her with him.

The group met them on the deck of the ship with a handful of towels. Miranda was quiet for a few minutes, her dark eyes watching Lavi as he dried off his chest, and then she snapped up with realization. "I have something for you." She told him after a long moment. "All of you. New uniforms."

The ship was moving soon after that, and the three exorcists split up to all change into their outfits. Miranda gave the boys their outfits and went to change into dry threads herself. She was surprised when she found Lavi and Krory back ahead of her. The tall count looked almost normal in his long raven cloak and he smiled at her as she came in. Lavi had his back to her, and seemed to be inspecting his new clothing carefully. She got the feeling he over-analyzed everything, and it was a bit intimidating, but she couldn't help but stare while he wasn't looking.

He was tall, nearly six feet or so, with broad shoulders and a narrow waist and impossibly long legs. His hair was usually worn up in messy red spikes, but due to the fiasco in the ocean it was now down, falling in long wispy strands of copper red down the right side of his face. That was also the eye that was gone, the one he concealed to the world with a black eye patch. She didn't know the story of how he had lost it, but she had come to the conclusion before that it didn't affect him from being any less handsome.

He turned her way and she decided instantly that she liked his new clothing. The pants were formfitting, making his legs look even more ridiculously long, and riddled with pockets. He was wearing a tight dark undershirt over his new Order Jacket, which had half-sleeves and only zipped halfway to allow for excellent maneuverability.

He was not looking at her though, but instead, across the room to the steps where Lenalee was sitting. She hadn't spoken since Miranda had shown up, but if the older woman had to guess, it was because of Allen Walker.

"Lenalee," Miranda started, her voice soft and sweet. "I have your new uniform." She coaxed, stepping closer to her.

The girl didn't even hear her. Her gaze was stuck on the floor, her long dark hair practically hiding her face from view. The life had been stripped from her, and all that was left was an empty shell.

Lavi gritted his teeth. He was beyond frustrated with this whole situation. Yes, he was grieving too; Allen had been his friend, but at the same time there was a spark of hope that with him gone, maybe he would have a chance to get her to look at him.

It was a horrible way of thinking, and he knew he was just as disgusting for thinking that way, but he couldn't stop himself. He was infuriated at her, at himself and at the whole situation, until the feeling inside clawed its way out.

He turned, and smashed his gloved hand into the window, hard enough to shatter the glass around his fist. Everyone in the room jumped, except Lenalee, who continued to believe the world around them didn't exist.

"Will you stop?!" He screamed at her, his temper getting the better of him. "We were fighting for our lives last night! There was no way we could've saved him! It's a war!" His emerald gaze narrowed. "These things happen."

The young woman flinched, her violet eyes batting and for a second she made eye connection, truly seeing him. Then the tears began to fall down her face, unprovoked and genuine like liquid rivers, and he instantly regretted saying anything at all.

Even worse was the way everyone else in the room was looking at him like he had just turned into an akuma….like he was suddenly an enemy.

All except Miranda. Her expression was reserved and thoughtful, her dark eyes watching him with an emotion he couldn't place.

He didn't get much time to think on this one either. The instantaneous movement was coupled with the small grizzled form of Bookman leaping at him like a monkey, and the next thing Lavi knew he was in a stranglehold, while those small feet dug into his back.

"Will you calm down, idiot?" The old man barked at him, but Lavi was too fired up to just let this one slide.

"Because you're over-stepping your bounds." Bookman glared at him. "You think you're an exorcist now, do you? I told you to remain an observer at all times!"

The same old story, the same old fight. Lavi was both a bookman and an exorcist. He had heard this lecture a thousand times and each time, it stung like it was new. The worst part was because Lavi had only recently figured out why; he couldn't decide whether he fully wanted to be either.

"I know." He said softly, feeling the fight die in him as his own sins rose up to swallow his resolve. "I'm sorry." It was all he could bring himself to say.

For all of Bookman's words and Lavi's screaming, Lenalee seemed at least a little more alert. That was a relief and Lavi felt a bit more at ease, that was until Mahoja and Anita entered, and saw the broken window.

The captain's first mate, being nearly seven-feet of solid muscle was probably the most intimidating girl the redhead had ever met in his life. When she saw the shamelessly shattered window, her eyes turned on the exorcists in a brutal glare and Lavi knew he was done for.

Bookman and Krory were quick to give him up and the redhead found himself backing up and apologizing profusely as the monster of a woman began cracking her knuckles, the look in her eyes like a demon's.

Without anyone to support him Lavi jumped behind Miranda, clinging to her side. It was cowardly, but he had a feeling that the beastly female was not going to try to go through another woman. He hung off the brunette's shoulder, his green eye wide and apologetic. "Miranda, h-help me!"

Miranda smiled warmly, not seeming to be intimidated at all by the massive woman staring them down. Lavi didn't know how she could be scared of them, but not be shaking because of the first mate's death glare. "Don't worry, see? Look at the window."

They all watched as the gap in the glass repaired itself, the cracks reforming as if by magic. Within seconds the window was perfect and they all could do nothing but stare in wonder.

"As long as my innocence is active, the time will always go back to the moment when the ship was in its best condition." Miranda explained. "People too…if you all were to be attacked, your wounds would cease to be under the time recovery. Just please," She paused and her voice hiccupped as she spoke again. "Don't push yourself too hard. Once the time is lost, I can't stop it. There's nothing I can do to bring back the dead."

They all were all watching her with awe, which made her fidget uncomfortably. It was Bookman who found the words to speak first. "But… Miranda," He started, clearing his throat. "Will you be alright? It's going to take an absolute minimum of five days to get to Japan. Do you think you can keep it activate that long?"

"That's right!" Lavi stared back at her, his red hair nearly covering half his face as he titled his head. "You can't sleep while your innocence is active!"

She flashed him a sheepish smile. "I'm really good at not sleeping." She admitted. "When I was in and out of jobs, I would sometimes get so anxious that I wouldn't sleep for ten days at a time!" She boasted, almost as if she were proud of this fact.

The others weren't so sure of that, but reluctantly gave nervous smiles back.

After that, everyone went about doing their own thing, and Lavi felt he needed some fresh air. Sliding his fingers through his hair, he pushed his headband up along his forehead and stepped out onto the deck, staring blankly out at water in all directions.

He was only half aware that the sun had gone down at some point, living more in his head at that moment then his body. His mind was struggling to grasp so many things, but more than anything he realized he truly had stepped out of lines this time. Miranda was using her very will to keep a sinking ship bound for the other side of the ocean, Lenalee was dealing with a broken heart, and here he was bitching and complaining. He was supposed to be protecting the girls, and it felt like they were protecting him.

He reached into the pocket of his jacket and pulled out the Ace of Spades. It had been found on the ground where Allen's body should have been. Lavi knew that the boy never went anywhere without a deck of cards and presumed it had fallen out of his pocket when he had been moved. It was really the only piece of his friend he could say he had left and he stared at it, feeling so very conflicted.

How was he not supposed to be involved? How was he not supposed to consider himself an exorcist? He lived with these people, fought with these peopled, _cared_ about these people… they were HIS people. How was he supposed to separate himself from all that?

The click of heels on the floorboards made him look over his shoulder to see Miranda standing there, her wavy dark hair swaying around her face. For a moment they just stared at each other, and then she must have taken his silence as disapproval because she shifted awkwardly, her gaze falling to the floor.

"I-I'm s-sorry…" She stammered out softly, bowing her head. "I-I didn't mean… I was just worried…."

Lavi sighed, stuffing the card back in his pocket. His gloved hand reached out and caught her by the wrist. She jerked upward, but he gave a tug and she stumbled, her weight collapsing against his own as he pulled her into his arms.

She felt different then Lenalee did. She was slender, but her curves were more pronounced and she was taller. He decided immediately that it wasn't a bad feeling…. Just different. He had held Lenalee many times… never in any intimate situation, but this… this could have been…

"Lavi…?"

The call of his name made his emerald eye open and he blinked. For a second, it had been as if time had stopped. He wasn't aware until that moment that he had done that without thinking, that his body had desired some sort of comfort so badly that he grabbed the first person that walked by.

He pulled away, looking sheepish and scrambling for the words to explain. That was embarrassing. But as he stared at the look she was giving him, his expression solemned. She was watching him with a paramount of concern in her black eyes that made them waver like ripples on a dark pond.

"I-I'm so sorry, I really didn't mean-" She started again, and he could see that that hug hadn't done anything but to make her nerves worse.

"Miranda." He said her name, and her words were cut off. He took her hand in his, feeling a spark from the initial contact. "Don't apologize. I'm sorry if I startled you."

"Y-You didn't!" She piped up. Her gaze glanced down to where he was holding her hand and she could feel her cheeks beginning to burn. "I was just worried…. You've been out here for hours. Aren't you cold?"

He blinked, her concern causing his heart to flutter a bit. He just stared at her, once again looking at her as if he were seeing her for the first time.

Meanwhile his microscopic sweep was only pushing more and more at Miranda's anxiety button. She fidgeted and then pulled away, her hand slipping out of his. "S-Sorry…." She whimpered out, needing to put space between them. He was just barely touching her hand, and she suddenly felt like she couldn't breathe.

He leaned back, putting his weight on the railing. "I don't deserve your kindness." He scoffed, smiling bitterly. "I'm so confused about what I want, about how I'm supposed to feel. I don't know who I am anymore, let alone who I'm supposed to be."

He grimaced, focusing on anything but her. "Lavi the Exorcist, or Bookman Junior…. I can't have them both." He gritted his teeth. "And then Lenalee…" He looked out over the rail, putting his bad eye to her so he couldn't see her reaction. "I've always felt it was my duty to protect her, to care for her, and then Allen showed up. I was starting to feel like I would be content giving up on her, and he goes and gets himself killed!" His voice snapped as he spoke. "The most sickening part of all is that a part of me is relieved that he's out of the way. I shouldn't feel that way, because he's my friend!" He didn't notice the sound of the sob in his voice as he sighed. "And a part of me doesn't want to even bother with Lenalee anymore. I get the feeling that whether he's here or not, it's not going to change how she feels about me."

There was silence for a long time and then he heard the soft sounds of her boots on the deck. He closed his eye, trying not to feel so utterly defeated. Of course he had chased her away- hearing him voice all his sins out loud, even he was disgusted. He was weak, and now it was more obvious than ever.

He was not expecting to feel those arms wrap around him, or the weight of her body as she leaned against his back. He froze, his emerald eye going wide as he turned to look back. Her head was buried at his shoulder blades and he saw the way her small shoulders were quivering.

His heart felt like someone had just put it in a blender. He was at a loss of what to say or do, but he couldn't bear to watch this.

"Stop that." He ordered softly and moved to pull away from her, but she just clutched to him tighter.

"Will you stop trying to put distance between us?!" She sobbed into his back. He flinched, but Miranda wasn't done. "And by 'us' I mean everyone! You think you have to protect us all, that you're somehow responsible for us all, but you're forgetting to take care of you!" She shook her head furiously. "I feel it sometimes… when you're smiling it's as if you're doing so just to block out the pain. You try not to get too close… but no one can do everything alone." Her grip slipped from around his waist and she stepped back, wiping at her tears. "When you're upset, you need to talk about it. You need to get it off your chest and not bottle it up."

Lavi turned around so that he was facing her, watching as she bawled her eyes out for him. It was strange, because watching her cry made him want to cry, but she had never been more gorgeous to him then she was in that moment. He reached out, cupping her cheek in his hand, his thumb swiping at the falling tears. "….How can you have all the answers?"

She blinked up at him with watery eyes, not sure what to say. His expression had changed to something soft, a smile she had never seen before settling across his lips. "I-I… don't…" She stammered out, feeling unusually calm despite that wave of anxiety creeping in the back of her mind. "I tend to watch people….you, a lot."

"You think you know me, huh?" His voice rose a bit, that smile becoming more and more like the one that she knew.

His question startled her. "N-No! I didn't mean-" She started, ready to defend herself for any mistake she might have made, but in that second he had leaned down to her height and her words were infinitely silenced by the press of his lips against hers.

Miranda's raven eyes widened to the size of saucers, her pale skin quickly becoming flushed. Her lashes fluttered and her eyes slowly drifted shut, as his arm wrapped around her, pulling her body into the shelter of his.

Lavi was surprised with the way her body connected against his. Her lips were impossibly soft and sweet and he was quickly warming up to the way she felt in his arms. He pushed at her defenses a little, his fingers feeling along the binding leather of her uniform, while his tongue pressed at her mouth. Her lips practically fell open and he considered that a small victory in itself.

She shivered, and he could tell that she was horribly inexperienced with all of this. Her hands were trembling as they rested on his chest and her tongue lifted unsurely to flick at his, not sure what she should be doing. He found her ability to protect herself was non-existent; if he'd wanted to take advantage of the whole situation, he probably could have stripped her down to nothing right there on the deck and she never would have fought him.

If Bookman hadn't ever so cleverly flying-jump-kicked him in the head.

Too preoccupied in their own little world to hear the swift approach of the old man, one moment Lavi was cupping Miranda's behind in his hand and delving into her mouth, and the next he was picking himself up off the deck some thirty feet away.

"Lavi!" Miranda was staring at him with wide dark eyes, still panting from their little session, and he was hoping like all hell that the reaction his body was having wasn't obvious.

Bookman was a nimble little old-timer, but at the moment his aura felt like he was ten-foot tall. "DO I WANT TO EVEN KNOW WHAT THE HELL WAS GOING ON?!" He roared at the shocked couple who were starting to steep in guilt and embarrassment.

To Lavi's utter horror, Miranda turned to the old man and bowed. "S-Sorry sir, I was the one who started it."

Both of the men looked at the serenely peaceful smile on her face and then Bookman glared past her to the boy still sprawled on the ground. He wasn't buying it for a moment and Lavi knew that, but he was at a loss of what to say or do. Lavi knew that in a couple of hours they would probably be listening to a wealthy lecture.

"Don't let it happen again." Was all the old man could manage before he walked away, muttering all the while about the youth of this day and age.

The two watched him go, and when Lavi looked back up at Miranda she was five shades of red. She turned to him nervously and then slowly walked over to him, offering him a hand up.

He blinked and then took it. Standing over her again, they both seemed like they were at a loss of what to say and do, and even his inexperience in an awkward situation was starting to show through. He blushed and scrambled for what to say. "I-" he started, trying to find something cool after that horrible interruption. And just as he opened his mouth, she started laughing.

"I'm sorry," she giggled out, her favorite words. "It was just so funny that he broke us up that way…."

For a second there Lavi had found his heart had stopped. "Oh." He hiccupped out, grateful that she wasn't in fact, laughing at him. "That was mortifying if you ask me."

"It was that too!" She nodded, her laughter growing louder and he found himself breaking out in a wide smile, watching her get all of that out.

"Seriously though…" He started, as her rings of laughter finally calmed down. "If you want to get to know me…" He let his words trail out suggestively, his gloved hand reaching up to twirl a ringlet of her hair around his fingers.

Her eyes went wide and she blushed, but she kept that small smile of hers ever present on her face. Even she could get at what he was hinting at. "I think you need to get to know yourself." She told him after a long moment, and her hand lifted up, her grip lighting on his before she slowly pushed him away. "And figure out what you really want."

"And if that's you…?" He questioned slowly, surprised that she possessed even a bit of a will to reject him.

Her pale cheeks flared and she pursed her lips, a movement that he found incredibly sexy. Her dark eyes twinkled and she turned from him, putting her back to him. "I'll be right here." She told him, looking over her shoulder. "Just keep in mind, time stops for no one. I won't wait forever."

He leaned against the railing, watching her walk off, his emerald gaze pulled to those slender legs and the shift of that perfect backside. He had no clue where he was supposed to start, but he had realized that when he was kissing her, time had truly stopped, and that that moment in time had created a new path in his life, one that he felt compelled to follow to the end.

Meanwhile, in a back room of the ship….

"I CAN'T BELIEVE I DID THAT?! HOW COULD I BE SO COOL?! AND WHY WOULD HE WANT ME?! I REFUSE TO BELIEVE THAT HAPPENED!"

Panicked screaming can be heard echoing down the galley halls.

END


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